I have reviewed well over 1000 Westerns in this blog, the good, the bad and the downright ugly. I have reviewed junk spaghettis, Eurowesterns, serials, ultra-low-budget programmers, one-reeler silents and made-for-TV dross designed to fill up the schedules. They all have something. There’s a saving grace. The spaghettis had shocking color, lousy plots, Z-grade dialogue, appalling music and so on but maybe they had Lee Van Cleef in the lead or one good shot of a horseman on a skyline. Something.
Well, almost all. Apache Blood, aka A Man Called She and Pursuit, is an extra-low-budget, very badly directed, boring film with rotten actors. It is almost a silent movie because there is little or no dialogue. Perhaps it was shot on VHS or perhaps the very low quality of the print I saw was a result of VHS being transferred to DVD. Anyway, it’s lousy.
The music is annoying.
A fat scout (Dewitt Lee) is pursued by a thin Apache (Ray Danton) and hobbles across Arizona for 89 interminable minutes. Danton is called Yellow Shirt because he wears a yellow shirt (but no trousers). There is a really stupid ending, then we are obliged to watch ‘highlights’ all over again in flashback.
It’s an ultra-low-quality exploitation flick with art pretensions that it dismally fails to live up to. You might think, well, if it’s that bad, I might watch it, for fun. Take my advice. Don’t. Just trust me. That way you won’t be mentally scarred.